Posts by Broken Promises

11

Too Many In The Car

by Broken Promises in

for a period of time when i was a jw, i lived with a family of jws.

they had 2 young children under 12. the family were good friends with another jw family who had 3 children under 12. .

so were talking about 5 kids under 12, this will be important later.. .

Broken Promises

For a period of time when I was a JW, I lived with a family of JWs. They had 2 young children under 12. The family were good friends with another JW family who had 3 children under 12.

So we’re talking about 5 kids under 12, this will be important later.

Anyway, I came home one day from work to find the two mums and their kids at our place. Apparently the two dads (both MS’s) had gone off to play tennis or something while the mums and kids stayed behind at our place to talk and play.

The kids of the 2 nd family wanted to go home, but as the 2 dads had taken both their cars, they were all stuck at our place.

Now their house was within walking distance, albeit a long walk. The sun hadn’t set yet, so they had time to get home before it got dark, if they’d wanted to.

I was on my way out again so they asked if I would take the kids of both families to the 2 nd family’s home. I can’t remember what the mum was going to do, so I won’t speculate.

So there were 5 kids to fit into my car (and possibly the mother) while my car only had 4 spare seatbelts. Now, seatbelts are compulsory in my country, so it would have meant one kid not legally having a seatbelt.

For me, that had several ramifications. Firstly, it’s illegal for a child to ride unrestrained, so I would have been doing something against the law (keep in mind I was a conscientious JW, though I still think this is an important law to follow). One child could have sat in the front seat restrained, but try squeezing 4 kids into a backseat and I doubt that any of them would have kept their seatbelts on, let alone wear them properly. So if I’d been pulled over by a cop, I’d be fined $100 per unrestrained child.

Secondly, and to me more importantly, was the safety of driving with unrestrained kids. What if we were in an accident? Imagine the scene if something like that happened! I loved these kids and there was no way I would have been able to live with myself if anything had happened to them while in my care.

With these points in mind, I said no to the mums. They looked at me in disbelief(!) I was always the young, naïve, happy-to-please JW sister yet here I was daring to say no to 2 MS’ wives??? I explained that I was happy to take the kids in 2 trips, as in 3 at one time and 2 at the second time, but they said no.

So I had to say sorry, but because of the seatbelt issue I’m not taking the kids in one go and if you don’t want that, I can’t help you.

Anyway, living in a country where seatbelt laws are compulsory (Australia) I just thought it was so strange for two JW mums were prepared to put their kids’ safety at risk just for the sake of convenience. And they wanted to put someone else in the firing line should anything had happened. I also got the impression they had the expectation that I would jump at their command to do anything for them, even if it was illegal and dangerous.

10

Varying Rules in the Congregation

by cantleave in

the society rarely phrases its man made rule as thou shall or shalt not, but makes "suggestions".

the elders of each congregation will then enforce those "suggestions" to a greater or lesser extent, depending on the demographics of each elder body.

the inconsistancies result in uncertainty and that in itself becomes an additional form of control.. it is possible for someone who has only experienced only one or two congregations to read someone elses experience on a site like this one and may think, that does not happen in the organisation.

Broken Promises

The elders are following the example of the WTS, who do the same thing in their magazines. Instead of saying, “you should do this” the WT will use expressions like “A mature Christian would do XYZ” which suggests to the reader that if they want to be a “mature Christian” (According to WTS standards) they should be doing XYZ. That way, the WTS is able to get its followers to do what it REALLY wants them to do without overtly appearing to be the coercive passive-aggressive bullies that they are.

43

Tell me

by John Doe in

jw
friends

what i'm thinking about right now.

.

Broken Promises

LOL @ JAFO

4

WATCHTOWER MAY YOU ROT AND BURN IN HELL

by FireNBandits in

watchtower, you've been livin' hell to me.

you've busted me since nineteen sixty three.

i've seen 'em come and go and i've seen 'em die.

Broken Promises

What is all this alll about? Please, can you explains more details? Sounds like the contributor has a bitter experiences wth the WTS.

Don’t we all?

6

did any body have calls and studies pinched off them

by RosePetal in

jw
friends

over the years my hubby and i would auxilliary pionneer and start studies and develope calls that would take magazines regularly and invite us in.

as hubby wasn't a ministerial servant at the time elders ministerial servants and reg pioneers felt they were more worthy to have the studies and calls and would find a way to take them from us.

one ministerial servant told our study who started attending meetings that he should be taking their study and succeeded in taking it over..

Broken Promises

My sister was studying with the wife of a married couple, and the husband of the couple was studying with an Elder (separate studies). Everything was fine until the Elder’s wife decided that she should be studying with the wife, and made a huge fuss until she got her own way. Elder’s wife was one of those born-in, butter-would’t-melt-in-her-mouth types who was really nasty and spiteful when she didn’t get her own way.

I know it really hurt my sister, but she still doggedly sticks to “the truth”.

26

The reporting of field service time

by lepermessiah in

jw
friends

were any of you really bothered/still bothered by the practice of field service reporting?.

there was an old post on here that got me thinking how the practice got started.. instead of simply being a tool to monitor the progress of the faith, or to see if the work was done "throughout the earth", it appears to me that it was just a tool used to keep the presses rolling and to see how much literature to produce - along with controlling the rank and file.

the average jw gives it no thought, its just another "blessing" from the organization when you hear the monthly reports, etc.. the organization is so statistics-driven that they make jesus out to be a ceo with people who need to meet their sales quotas.i'm sure he really wouldnt care if peter and andrew got 20 hours one month and john got 25. wait, maybe thats why john was "beloved" .

Broken Promises

I was so naïve. I never fudged my hours (until maybe the last couple of months I was in) and it never occurred to me that others were doing it. I may have suspected it, but I didn’t think it ever happened.

32

Work Related: Am I correct for being angry?

by Elsewhere in

jw
friends

my manager expects (never directly ordered me), but expects me to have my work laptop booted up at home every evening after work, all weekend long and every holiday so i can monitor my email and promptly respond to emails.. .

am i wrong for being pissed off about this?.

the company i work for is always talking about their "work life balance" program for employees.

Broken Promises

Considering the current economic climate, I would grin and bear it for now, but bring it up when your next salary review comes round.

In the meantime, just take your time in responding to emails etc outside of normal work hours especially weekends. If you answer them too quickly, you’ll give them the expectation that you are willing to be their servant 24/7. I know acting like that is against the grain for most conscientious employees, but it’s a passive-aggressive way of dealing with the problem.

2

When you were still a Dub,what roles did you enjoy playing in a DC drama, a baddy or a hero?

by african GB Member in

jw
friends

for example: which role would you play, judas iscariot or apostle peter?.

enoch or nimrod.

elijah or baal's prophet?.

Broken Promises

When our cong had the Drama, I was too young to be picked for anything.

27

Bullying JW's

by etna in

jw
friends

i've just watched a program on tv about bullying (in australia).

and my wife and i were just commenting on how much the jw's bully so many of their followers, as in shunning disfellowshiped or disassociated ones, even ones that have faded.

their bullying tactics also invove using famiky members not to talk to them.

Broken Promises

When I read the title of this thread, I was thinking of bullying JWs towards fellow JWs.

I remember one time when I had missed a Book Study due to working late. Sister Righteous comes up and pokes a finger into me accusingly, “where were YOU last Tuesday???”

Anyone would have thought I’d stolen something from her or slept with her husband or something, the way she accused me.

I just said I had to work and left it to that. I didn’t need to justify my actions to her or anyone else in the congregation.

24

So.....do you or don't you want them to come after you?

by Quillsky in

jw
friends

i've noticed an interesting dichotomy in these discussions.

as a starting point, i understand that we are all different --- there is no "we" here except that we have all been, or been involved with, jw's.

but this is interesting..... some people complain about being "hounded" by elders and shepherding calls and previous "friends" and so on.

Broken Promises

I grew up in The Lie, I was a 3 rd gen JW. All my life I’d been indoctrinated that “God is love” and that the elders cared about us likewise. So I naively thought that when I started to have “spiritual problems” ie. Doubts about the organization, the elders would lovingly help me, as would other “friends” I had in the congregation.

How wrong was I?

When I started to miss meetings, any social invites dried up too. People would be friendly, but kept at a distance especially when I stopped going out in service. It hurt and puzzled me – wouldn’t it be more loving to want to help a person in trouble, rather than just leave them to their own devices, possibly watching them drown in “Satan’s system”?

One encounter helped show me the “love” they had. I was visiting a JW’s house and another JW was there, a pioneer sister from the same congregation. She made some comment like “We’ve been missing you at the meetings” – more like a statement than a loving query into my well-being. I replied “you know where I live, you can always visit me.” “Well, I’d leave that up to the elders.”

Her comments stunned me. She wasn’t really interested in me, her fellow sister in the faith! As well, she was a pioneer and unless she could have counted her hours, there was no incentive for her to visit me. So it was easier to just load everything on the elders’ shoulders. Also, it gave me the impression that I was being judged, but judged for what? Even though I wasn’t an active witness anymore, I hadn’t done anything wrong. So why judge an innocent person? It didn’t make sense.

The only contact I received after that was from the elders. I had one session with two of them, where I expressed my concerns about what was going on in the congregation, but their “advice” was hollow and unhelpful.

Then one night I received a phone call from an elder. I rarely had had any contact with him even as an active witness so it had to be for something official. He and the other elders wanted to meet with me as soon as possible. Fortunately I had family visiting from out of town so I told them it wasn’t convenient. He insisted on meeting with me as soon as possible. I politely but firmly said it wasn’t convenient and I would call him back when I had the time to meet with them. I could tell by his tone of voice that he didn’t like me telling HIM what to do, and I’m sure he could tell by my tone of voice that I meant what I said. By this stage I had realised the “loving” elders were wolves in sheep’s clothing and there was no reason for me to meet with them.

Anyway, the point of this long saga is that many of us get disillusioned when we don’t receive contact from our so-called “friends” but when the contact becomes judgemental then we don’t want anything to do with them.